Eye-Eye, Captain, Eye-Eye!
September 25, 2007
| By Ron Costello
| 
Discuss
5 left to play.
- Two games behind the Mets in the East
- One game behind Wild Card leader San Diego
- Kyle Lohse tonight vs Tim Hudson
When the Master and Commander pulled the Sloop of Atlanta into the Port of Wilmington on Monday, he heard the drums along the Susquehanna.
Camp Ottawa in the north country has been closed, the drums said, and no more would Ye-Philadelphia send pitchers up there. This meant only one thing to the Commander.
He summoned his lieutenants on board the Sloop and outlined the battle strategy. If they could get to Moyer by the sixth, it meant that Geary might be summoned now that camp Ottawa is closed. The Commander, winner of 11 straight sea battles, 14 overall with the Sloop, told the deck hands that if Geary is summoned, their guns must be ready or heads would roll.
"Ah, eye-eye Captain," they responded.
He knew Ye-Philadelphia had cannons too, and they could rain hell on the Sloop...and that they did, with volleys from Rollins, Howard, and Werth. But when the smoke cleared at the end of five rounds, the Commander knew he had 'em where he wanted 'em.
When Captain Lucky Charlie went out to get Moyer in the sixth and bring in Geary, the Commander allowed the closest thing to a smile since Queen Fonda blew him a kiss from her third base perch in the World Battle of ' 95.
After Geary's warm-ups, the Sloop's cannons roared again and this time, after three damaging blows to the bulkhead, Ye-Philadelphia was badly crippled.
"We got them two studs on Wednesday and Thursday," the Master and Commander bellowed in the dugout, meaning Hudson and Smoltz. "They got Lohse and Kendrick."
The dugout burst with laughter: "Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, eye-eye Captain, ah, ha, ha, ha.."
"Man your stations," the Commander shouted,"Ye ain't won nothin' yet, you miserable sea mongrels. Until we get Wild, nobody does no laughin,' Ye got that straight?"
"Eye-eye, Captain, eye-eye."
"And no rum until we have the heads of Utley, Howard and Rollins in a pickle barrel, you worthless dogs of scurvy."
"Eye-eye, Captain, eye-eye."
