A Letter to Mr. and Mrs. Steve Smith

July 5, 2007 | By Matt List | Discuss

Mr. And Mrs. Smith,

I’m sorry to inform you that we at PhillyPurge must make a Citizens Bank arrest. The Phillies third base coach has been noticed one too many times this season and last making stupid, bonehead, beyond little league manager poor decisions. Lets go back to game two against Houston. You have the best hitter in the NL who’s name isn’t Holliday coming to the plate in Mr. Utley, so what does this guy do? He sends Ruiz from first and waves him around third with his blazing catcher speed while Hunter Pence (who has a Marine issued m-16 as an arm) has already hit his cutoff man on a base hit. Ruiz gets tug out by about 30 feet, Chase doesn’t get to bat with first and third two outs and Phils lose by a walk off home run in extra innings. Does this story sound familiar? How many times do we have to see this? We're not talking blockbuster trade, we’re talking about getting a third base coach in here who knows when to hold em and knows when to fold em. How can the Phillies ever expect to win with such a glaring problem? Does Mr. Smith still have pictures of Charlie and the Rodeo Queen from Wheeling West Virginia 1974 in his safe? Maybe he has a picture of Pat Gillick and a naked Greta Garbo circa 1950? Much like the menstrual cycle we seem to lose a game once a month due to Mr. Smith’s ineptitude at such a simple job, hopefully Steve gets kicked out of the bedroom like the rest of us.


Matt List