Research and the Theory of Regurgitation

July 30, 2007 | By Ron Costello | Discuss

IHad quite a bit of return mail from my last article: "Who Exactly...Is The Idiot Here?" Seems that a lot of folks don't take kindly to saying good things about Phillies President David Montgomery.

Some people--especially those who listen to Cataldi in the morning and Howard in the afternoon--are ax gridners, soothsayers, have 20-20 hindsight vision too, and are moaners, weepers, bloggers and all around 'unhappy with their lifers.' I call the two the CIA, Cataldi and Iskin on the Airways, even through Eskin spells his last name with an E, but who cares?

The listeners? Car insurance cavemen, if you will.

Now I've been listening to Cataldi and Howard. Not because I like to...or I expect to learn anything from it, but since I've worked at universities all my professional life, I know about research and theories. So I'm doing research listening to those two bozos.

And I've developed this theory, it's called the Theory of Regurgiatation. Here's how it works. Cataldi in the am repeats and repeats how the Phillies will never win with Montgomery and the current ownership. Then Howard picks up in the afternoon and says the same thing. Like we are all stupid and don't know the two nitwits worked this out together.

The cavemen listening call in and repeat their proclamations, only in different words. If they didn't, the CIA would cut them right off. But when they regurgitate, they are left on the air until it's time for the next commercial.

For example:

"Howard, I want to say that I think it's unfair that you are calling the Phillies cheapskates." The reply: "Listen genius, if you had half a brain, you'd know that blah, blah, blah..." And it is highly unlikely that the caller gets a rebuttal. He's simply cut off. Or,

"Howard, I want to talk about how cheap Montgomery is and that's why the Phillies stink." Reply: "Go ahead, I'm listening, how are they cheap?"

The CIA wants to be right all the time, and, they draw more caveman listeners if they promote criticism, even if it's not warranted. They also like to humor the caveman listeners by mimicking and making fun of them.

So, the bloggers who I hear from? Think for yourselves. Don't regurgitate.

Last night, my wife and I were at the beautiful park and watched a very good, exciting Phillies team take apart Pittsburgh, with Clutch Coste back from Moose Country, doing what he does best. When he hit that three run dinger, they heard it in Germantown.

Hey Dave Montgomery...thanks for last night.

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