Steve O Diatribe

March 31, 2007 | By Steve Olenski | Discuss

As heard on the Jody Mac Show on Sports Talk 950!

Today I give you some stories you may have missed...

I "leg" to differ...

On Wednesday a severed human leg washed up on the Long Island Sound estate of billionaire James Dolan, who also happens to be the CEO of Cablevision Systems Corp. and the chairman of Madison Square Garden, owner of the Knicks and Rangers. Unconfirmed reports have the Knicks signing the leg to a 10-day contract.

"Delete" Offender...

Stanford swim Coach Skip Kenney erased the records of five former athletes he didn't get along with from the team's media guide. He was promptly suspended with pay and had the Delete key on his laptop disabled. The Coach immediately filed an appeal claiming he could no longer reboot his computer. And don't you think the punishment could have been a little stiffer, say he has to clean out the pools or swim a 100 laps in a Speedo or something like that? Make the punishment fit the crime I always say...

Purple...Shrinkage?...

A man filed formal complaints with the FCC that Prince's Super Bowl performance left him with erectile dysfunction...turns out the man is a car dealer and in his affidavit he states "the gyrations and movement and sounds of Prince left me with a little red corvette."

In a related story, I am giving serious consideration to filing a formal complaint against American Idol for auditory dysfunction as the "singers" this year are causing me to lose my hearing. I've heard better singing from snitches. I think Simon, Paula, et al can remove their life vests as this talent pool is draining quickly right before our eyes. You know it's bad when you long for the days of Justin Guarini.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

March 27, 2007

Much like Flyers win this season, the Diatribe has been few and far between so look at today's Diatribe as you would a win by the Flyboys over the worst team in the...wait a second, hold the phone here...where have I been? I mean I know I've been busy lately but...

The Philadelphia Flyers ARE the worst team in hockey...by far...12 points behind the nearest team, the perennially hapless Blackhawks.

But surely things will turn around once Peter Forsberg returns from his injury-du-jour, right?

What's that? They traded him?

Well I'm sure Bobby Clarke got a great deal in return for...what was that? Bobby Clarke is no longer the Flyers GM?

Man, you miss two thirds of a hockey season and the whole word passes you by...

Scanning the headlines...

• I got the Fever...I wonder if the Titans have removed all the Pac Man video games from their complex yet? I know where they can get a good deal on some slightly used Asteroids and Donkey Kong. Today it was announced that Las Vegas Police said that they will recommend to the city's district attorney that Jones be charged with one count of "felony coercion" and also misdemeanor counts of "battery and threat to life." Now I am no Matlock or Perry Mason but just on the surface alone, don't you think the term "threat to life" should carry more than just a misdemeanor charge with it?

• Any relation to Charlie...? ...My thoughts on the trade for Bills LB Takeo Spikes are this: It sends a clear message to Dhani Jones, Matt McCoy, et al that they (the Eagles brain trust) have absolutely, positively no faith in them. It also sends a message the Eagles faithful who have been pining and yearning for help for Jeremiah Trotter and if Spikes is healthy and can stay that way, they will have it.

• Jaws in Motion...I think the addition and replacement of Ron Jaworski for Joe Theismann in the Monday Night Football booth is a great move and one that is looooong overdue. Now viewers around the country get to experience what we have for years and that is Jaws providing his insight and level of detail that quite frankly, Joe Theismann could never come close to replicating.

Okay, that's it...I'm done...I'm spent...this writing stuff is too hard. I need to find a new line of work...I wonder if Britney Spears needs an assistant...

Steve O

March 10, 2007

JG to the 2nd Power...

Earlier this week I commented on how I thought Donovan McNabb played a role in Jeff Garcia (JG#1) not so much as getting an offer from the Birds and leaving Philly to play for Jon Gruden (JG#2) and the Bucs.

My cohort, AKA Mr. Q, took umbrage with my stance, as per the norm. He and I agree to disagree quite often.

HIS understanding was that the Eagles went to Garcia and his agent before the Free Agent signing period and told them they would like to get a deal done before Free Agency began. Garcia refused saying he wanted to field offers from other teams. The Eagles then became proactive and signed AJ Feely to be the #2QB. Mr. Q also believes that IF Garcia had expressed any interest to the Eagles that he wanted to return at their number he would still be here.

Now I don't know if this is true or not, that the Eagles did in fact go to Jeff BEFORE the Free Agency period began to try and make a deal but to me it is irrelevant.

Before, During or After and regardless of the "number"... either his or the Eagles... it made no difference. Jeff Garcia was NOT coming back to the Eagles. Period. He simply became too popular for his own good. He played too well for his own good.

Now Mr. Q did go on to say some other things I agree with such as what exactly did Jeff Garcia do besides his job? Yeah he played well but he wasn' t the only guy on the field, he did have some help.

Absolutley 1000% agree with this.

Jeff Garcia did his job. And yes he was certainly not alone.

BUT what he did do alone and what no one can EVER question is the impact he had on the team from an emotional and leadership perspective. No one can argue the difference he made on BOTH sides of the ball, on the ENTIRE team. No one.

Camaraderie. Solidarity. Teamwork. The REAL essence and meaning of the word...team.

He galvanized and energized an entire fan base and in many ways it was more exciting and thrilling than the run to the Super Bowl 2 years prior.

These are the words you want to use in describing your starting QB...in describing your team leader.

Can you use ALL of them to describe Donovan McNabb? I can't.

Now the punch line is I for one want and expect Donovan McNabb to come back and be the Pro-Bowl caliber player he was and still can be. I was NEVER for replacing he, Jeff Garcia or AJ Feely or AJ Foyt. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool, plain and simple.

No, my point in ALL of this I hope and pray that Donovan learned something by watching Jeff Garcia take command of a football team and its fans by displaying the qualities not necessarily found on the football field but rather those found in a leader...in ANY forum or field of battle.

Rest in Peace John V...

We lost one of our own. We lost one of the good guys.

John Vuckovich, by all accounts was the living embodiment of this city and its fans. Passionate. Fiery. Competitive. Never-say-die. No excuses.

Can't have enough of those type of people around if you ask me.

Godspeed John.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

March 5, 2007

Hi campers, Went to the post office today and saw my pic on a Wanted Poster so I figured I better chime in with a Diatribe.

So much to cover since my last foray but here goes...

Do you know the way to Tampa Bay?

Okay, let's see a show of hands of people who actually think that Donovan McNabb, his mother, his father, his cousin once removed, his mailman and the guy who let him go ahead of him a four way intersection the other day... had NOTHING to do with the fact that Jeff Garcia needs change of address labels.

C'mon people...wake up and smell the Chunky Soup cooking in the pot.

For the record, I happen to think Donovan is one of the top 5,6, 7 QBs playing today. I think he's unfairly criticized and often times ostracized by the Eagles fans and local media. But his psyche is as fragile as a China doll and his skin is as thin as piece of looseleaf paper. By the way, what happened to that term, looseleaf paper? Am I that old (early 40s) that this term is outdated by today's youth? When I was in school, I had to get a binder, subject dividers and looseleaf paper. You remember, right Jody?

Anyway...

There was simply no way that Jeff Garcia, with all of his popularity (he could have run for Mayor and quite frankly would have instantly been the most knowledgeable candidate, but I digress) that Donovan was going to allow him to return.

Sorry, call me a conspiracy theorist but I call it as I see it. Donovan McNabb was not about to let a "backup, aging QB" steal his thunder in this town from these fans after everything he has been thru.

Donte's Inferno...

Not good news if you are Drew Rosenhaus. The fact that it is now public that Eagles Free Agent Donte Stallworth, according to league sources, is a participant in the NFL's substance-abuse program.

Could this have been the reason why teams did not rush to his door the second Free Agency opened on Friday?

Prediction: Donte will be back in the Eagles Green this coming season. Between this and his injury-prone career, the number of Donte's suitors will be minimal with the Eagles being one.

Billy the King...

If you haven't heard this next one, you may want to pull over or sit down.

Forbes Magazine, heretofore a well respected periodical, has released their rankings of the Top General Managers in the four major Sports.

The criteria used were as follows:

General managers were graded on two things: performance vs. the performance of their predecessor, and payroll relative to the league median when compared to their predecessor. Because winning is more important than payroll, Forbes.com double-weighted winning percentage to penalize a GM who cut costs but also hurt his team's winning percentage.

Coming in first was Kevin McHale of the Timberwolves. In second place was Jay Feaster of the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Coming in third place in the clubhouse was...none other than Billy King of YOUR Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers.

Not making this stuff up, folks.

Billy King, according to Forbes, is the 3rd Best GM in ALL of Sports.

I can't follow up that with anything clever, logical or otherwise.

So I will say...

I'm out. Peace.

February 21, 2007

Please excuse my absence, I have been busy trying to sell locks of Britney Spears' hair on eBay.

It's been a little while since I checked in last so let's just get caught up, shall we?

• Gotta love Pro Football. Two coaches, one a head coach -Marty Schottenheimer & one a defensive coordinator, Ron Rivera whose respective teams had the best regular season records in their respective conferences are no longer with those teams and in fact the latter is now a member of the coaching staff of the former's team. Got all that? Good. Now please explain it to me cause I have a headache just thinking about it.

-And if you think there's not more to the story in Chi-town behind Rivera's departure, I got some Jet Blue stock I'd like to sell you.

• And speaking of travel...what in the name of Rand McNally is going on these days? Was the recent snow & ice storm the first to hit this area in the last 100 years? No? Then someone please explain the sheer incompetence and ineptitude displayed by those responsible for the I-78 debacle and Jet Blue fiasco. And hey let's not forget the brilliant traffic foresight by those in Vegas who were entrusted to plan the recent NBA All Star Game. Gee, there's gonna be a whole lotta people showing up, we probably should be ready for them, huh? Nah....

• J-Roll's prediction? I love it. What the hey, if the players don't believe it, how can they expect the fans to? More power to you J-Roll. Now, go out and do it.

• Eagles Free Agents. In order of preference and all things being equal here's how I rank the Eagles free agents in terms of importance to the team.

1 Quinton Mikell
2 Juqua Thomas
3 Donte Stallworth
4 Jeff Garcia
5 Michael Lewis
6 Rod Hood
7 Correll Buckhalter
8 Shawn Barber
9 Will James
10 Koy Detmer
11 A bag of footballs...used
12 Reno Mahe

-As you can see I am placing emphasis on defense first and I think Quinton Mikell is important from both a depth perspective as well as Special Teams. I think Juqua Thomas kind of came into his own and with The Freak back next year, the Eagles could have a formidable rotation and DE. Wither Jeff Garcia? Sure I want him back but in the grand scheme of things, I just don't think he is as important as the other players.

• Sometimes the best moves are the ones you don't make. News out of Cleveland is not good for former object of the Eagles desires, LeCharles Bentley. The former All Pro Center will likely undergo more surgery on his knee, the same knee that sidelined him all of last year.

• The Five Hole...Up Close & Personal. A University of Southern California hockey goalie was recently ejected from a game and ticketed for lewdness for riding his stick like a horse, dropping his pants, mooning the crowd and slapping his buttocks. Now... you put that event in the NHL All Star Game and then I would watch.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

February 13, 2007

Randy is not so Dandy...

Yesterday, former Villanova Wildcat and current Minnesota Timberwolf was cited for disorderly conduct after police found him in a fight outside a Minneapolis gas station...at 2:40AM.

When police arrived they found four people in a fight next to a parked sports utility vehicle while the station was closed. It was unclear what caused the fight, police said, but Foye and the three others were apparently acquaintances who had been traveling together in the vehicle. One of the other men was booked for obstructing the legal process after he kicked at officers while refusing to be seated in a squad car.

Turns out two of those involved were younger cousin's of Foye who apparently got into an argument.

Now obviously it is way too early to make any assumptions about what transpired and heretofore there has never been any problems with Randy Foye either on or off the court that I am aware of.

But 2:40 in the morning???!! I know he's a young, rich, professional athlete but 2:40 in the morning??!!

Sounds like perhaps Randy needs to think about his actions and how everything he does now will be thrust into the spotlight due to his celebrity status that comes with being a professional basketball player.

And reading his comments from a Conference Call with reporters, it sounds like Randy's already thinking about the next time, which judging from his words, doesn't sound like there will be one.

"That's not me, and it won't be in the future because I'm much smarter than that," Foye said, later adding: "I had nothing to do with the situation. Basically I tried to stop the situation."

Judgment Call...

"The one whose judgment counts most in your life is the one staring back in the mirror."

A little while ago I mentioned right here in this forum that I heard a certain AM Morning Sports Talk Show Host openly questioning the parenting skills of Andy and Tammy Reid. I thought it was downright deplorable to openly question and debate the parenting skills of another and I still do.

But now this host, as have others, including one on this very station, have openly questioned the intent behind Andy Reid's leave of absence, with one host going so far as to say he doesn't think this (the leave) has anything to do with his family and helping his family cope with this very serious crises.

What is wrong with people? Are we that cynical that we automatically and instinctively think the worst in people? That there must be a hidden agenda somewhere?

I think it's truly sad.

Look I can be as cynical as the next guy but when it comes to a man's family, you don't go there. Period. Like Robert DeNiro said in the movie A Bronx Tale, "You don't mess with another man's family."

And to me, the definition of "messing with another man's family" includes openly questioning how he raises his child or children.

You just don't go there and for these members of the media, and I use that term extremely loosely, to openly debate and grade Andy Reid and his wife's parental report card and to seemingly cast judgment is disgraceful.

What's that other quote I'm thinking of?

Oh yeah...

"Judge not lest ye be judged."

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

February 9, 2007

Only In America....

I am proud to be an American. I will defend my country against all comers. I'll take the good ol' USA and lay the points against any team on the planet. Ours is truly a special country and we should all be proud to call it our home. I know I do.

Yet I am constantly amazed at the out-of-balance and skewed way we all look at things and how we all (the media and public alike) tend to glamorize and immortalize the wrong people for the wrong reason.

Case in Point #1 - John Amaechi, the former NBA player has become the first professional basketball player to openly identify himself as gay.

His book, due out February 20, is entitled Man in the Middle and will presumably discuss what it was like for him to live with this secret and not come out of the proverbial closet for fear of retribution.

When I first heard of this news, my immediate reaction which remains my reaction to this day is, big deal. I am not trying to downplay nor diminish what Mr. Amaechi endured during this time but in the grand scheme of things, is it that newsworthy? I know it has social relevance but...

Oh by the way, the story on ESPN.com was described as "a groundbreaking revelation..."

Groundbreaking? That's a bit of a stretch.

Oh yeah, guess who is publishing the book?

Why it's ESPN Books. And who knew they published books?

And how about a current player coming out of the closet? Now you'd have something.

Case in Point #2 - Anna Nicole Smith. Her death yesterday has been called "tragic" and "heartbreaking".

My wife says she feels bad for her.

Me? Sure no one wants to ever see another human being die.

But was anyone truly surprised by this?

Has anyone ever seen her and she didn't seem like she was on something?

And I'm sorry, I must have been out that day, what was her talent again?

Jeezus CNN did a whole big thing about her dying. CNN!!

We're not talking about People Magazine or US or Fox News or the E Channel. This is CNN for chrissakes.

This Wolf Blitzer. Anderson Cooper.

What in the world has happened?

Well in actuality it's always been this way. We've always been so fixated on celebrities or people in the spotlight for whatever reason.

Heck I read People Magazine too.

But don't you think it's a little strange? Our unrelenting desire to know more and more about people who make millions upon millions of dollars to entertain us? We can't get enough.

And when one of these "celebrities" either gets into trouble (See O'Neal, Ryan) or dies, the American people go into fact-finding mode.

And then the real fun begins. The gossip. The rumors. And what a better time to be living is when all you have to do is go on the Net, post a message to a blog and have it considered "from a reliable source."

Oh by the way, does anyone know how many soldiers died in Iraq today?

Oh that's right, we don't know as our full team is covering the Anna Nicole Smith autopsy.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

February 2, 2007

It's Deja Vu all over again...

Well it's Groundhog Day, again and as we all by now, that fat little rodent, AKA Punxsutawney Phil, did not see his shadow so it's an early spring.

But in case you missed the other breaking story out of Punxsutawney, PA, Phil's longtime handler Bill Deeley retired and was replaced by Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Inner Circle members John Griffiths AND Ben Hughes.

Seems it now takes two to do the work that used to be done by one... but I digress.

Also, in the essence of full disclosure, I applied for membership into the very exclusive Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Inner Circle but was denied due to that squirrel incident in '91.

Said one of the two new handlers for the world's most famous groundhog: "It's a lot of work, but it's exciting to know you're a part of one of the most phenomenal parts of American folklore."

Whoa, there...back up the bus Kramden.

"It's a lot of work"?

Excuse me?

Once a year, you don a ridiculous-looking outfit, complete with top hat, pull a hairy rat out of a hole, hold it up high and announce to the world whether or not a shadow was spotted or not.

And this is what you consider "a lot of work?"

No, a lot work is....

• Being Joe Biden's campaign manager
• Or Tank Johnson's publicist
• Or Donald Trump's barber
• Or Rosie O'Donnell's dietician

Perform one of these tasks AND then you can talk about a lot of work.

Forgive & Forgotten...

What a difference a year makes, huh?

One year you're accused of beating up your wife, in public mind you and the next, you're over 25 million dollars richer. That's how much the Phillies will pay Brett Myers over the next 3 years.

What a country.

But here's the harsh and stark reality folks. The Phils had no choice. Myers is 26, a proven starter who is capable of winning 15+ games every year.

If they didn't pay him, the line of teams who would...would stretch from here to Punxsutawney.

Do Not Disturb...

My heartfelt compassion goes out to Andy Reid and his wife. I cannot imagine the heartache AND heartbreak that they have endured over the past few days.

To see not one BUT two of your sons act in such an alarming and possibly illegal manner has got to be tearing them apart.

Here's hoping the media, both far and wide, afford Andy and his family all the time they need to regroup and get things in order, as best they can, anyway.

If/when Andy is ready to talk about this, he will. But we all know all too well Andy is a very introverted person at the podium, keeping everything close to the vest and I can imagine he will do the same and then some when it comes to his family and that is just how it should be.

So to the media hounds out there all chomping at the proverbial bit to get the latest bit of dirt on the Reid family....back off and pay the man the respect he deserves.

What about Sam the Butcher?...

What do Florence Henderson, Adam West, Barry Williams, Dick Van Patten & the Director of the CIA all have in common?

They will all be on VH-1's The Surreal Life?

Well perhaps but no, that's not it.

No, these "celebrities" have all picked the Colts to beat the Bears in the Super Bowl.

The good folks at Scripps Howard, the same ones who bring you the Spelling Bee each year, polled 100 celebrities to get their Super Bowl pick.

And judging from the list, the word "celebrity" is stretched to the limit. Looks more like the cast of a 2 hour Love Boat movie.

In addition to Mrs. Brady, Greg Brady, Batman, Tom Bradford and General Michael V. Hayden, the list included such big name stars as:

• Russell Johnson & Dawn Wells, AKA The Professor and Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island who both like the Colts. Alas these two along with Tina Louise (AKA Ginger) are the only 3 still living from that fateful 3 hour tour.

• Rob Van Winkle AKA Vanilla Ice - Colts (he's done The Surreal Life already and look at his career now.)

• Bobby Plump AKA the inspiration for the movie Hoosiers - Colts. (We got spirit yes we do, we got spirit how 'bout you?)

• Dionne Warwick - Bears (rumor is she checked with her Psychic Friends Hotline for her pick)

• Elizabeth Shue - Colts (and was she not one of the best-looking women in Hollywood there for a little while? Where have you gone, Liz?)

• Connie Stevens - Bears (yeah another Love Boat would not be a stretch for Connie)

• John Amos AKA JJ's dad on Good Times - Bears (I think this pick is Dy-NO-Mite... sorry, couldn't resist.)

Now the list also did include legitimate celebrities like Paul Newman (Bears), Dwayne Wade (Bears) and Serena Williams (Colts).

But clearly the majority of stars the good folks at Scripps Howard polled probably didn't have much else going on at the time to interfere with their thought process.

And for the record, of the 100 people polled, 71 picked the Colts.

And last but certainly not least, Sam the Butcher of Brady Bunch fame (AKA Allan Melvin) is alive and well and was probably available to make his pick on the game. Since he was not asked however, allow me to make the pick for him. I think ol' Sam would have picked the Bears and here's why.

When you think of Bears, you think of Goldilocks. When you think of Goldilocks you think of cute little girl. When you think of cute little girl you think of Cindy Brady, who had gold locks.

So clearly Sam the Butcher would have picked the Bears.

Makes perfect sense, right?

My Take...

Well as usual when it comes to such important decisions in my life, I rely on on my mentor, one Susan Anton. Entertainer. Actress. Producer. If she's good enough for Dudley Moore, she's good enough for me.

Susan's slant on the game is this:

"As always, it will all come down to turnovers. The Colts are more vulnerable in this regard with their passing game and the aggressive Bears defense coming at them in full force, but with a healthy Peyton Manning at the helm, playing the "Game Of His Life," I feel the Colts will prevail!"

I could not have said it any better. Thanks Suzie.

Colts 31
Bears 17

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

January 26, 2007

Where's Jeff...?

Those of you with kids of the right age bracket will recognize this quizzical phrase from The Wiggles, an incredibly popular kids show from Down Under.

In the Where's Jeff? feature, the other Wiggles try to find where Jeff Wiggle is located.

This particular Jeff I am referring to however is Jeff Garcia.

And I think we're all wondering Where's Jeff... or more appropriately, Where's Jeff gonna be playing next year?

My trusted confidant, Mr. Q threw out an interesting possibility of where Mr. Garcia will be playing next year. We both agreed it wouldn't make such sense for Jeff to go to a struggling team at this point in his career, save for a boatload of money tossed his way... read: Daniel Snyder.

But assuming that does not happen, Mr. Q thinks a certain mid western team who will be playing a week from this Sunday could make for a good fit.

The team in question is the Bears. Consider this: If Rex Grossman has a bad game in the Super Bowl and the Bears lose, clearly Lovie Smith will need to make a change. The fans in The Windy City just will not stand for anything less.

The Bears are obviously a very good team with a very good defense.

Should they need a QB, is Brian Griese the answer or would perhaps a guy who took over for a team that lost its Pro Bowl QB and led them to 7 straight wins and an improbable division crown?

Just remember where you heard it first...

We are judged by the company we keep...

You know the old saying, you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.

Bengals WR Chris Henry may want to get some new friends.

We are all painfully aware of the police blotter also known as the roster for the Cincinnati Bengals has become and the leader in the Crimes Clubhouse is Mr. Henry. He has had four arrests in the last 14 months.

He somehow avoided jail time for the first 3 offense offenses but is in jail as we speak for letting minors drink in a hotel room he rented last spring. He wont be in long enough to get used to the orange jumpsuit...his penalty was 2 days in jail. In reality he was given a 90-day sentence, with all but two days suspended.

In this latter case Police said he brought alcohol for three females -- ages 18, 16 and 15 -- in a Covington, Ky., motel room on April 29. One of the three, Monica Beamon, 18, was charged with murder in Cincinnati last September.

Yeah, let me repeat that.

One of the three he bought alcohol for was charged with murder.

Yeah Chris, you may want to get new friends, expand your circles. Go on MySpace and meet some new people. On second thought, bag the MySpace and go play bingo at your local church...probably safer that way.

Castration Without Representation...

Did you see this story?

The mascot of the Austin Toros of the NBA Development League -- known as Da Bull -- prematurely ran onto the court and hung from the rim with .4 seconds remaining in a game against the Colorado 14ers.

Yeah, they're really called the 14ers. Don't ask.

Anyway this mascot was so pumped up over a late game dunk by one of the Toros players, he ran onto the court with time left on the clock and hung from the rim. If that weren't bad enough, he collided with one of the Colorado players at which point the mascot's head fell off.

Austin was leading by 4 points at the time.

A technical foul was assessed to Austin and the subsequently made free throw brought the 14ers to within 3. Fortunately for Da Bull a 3 pointer by Colorado at the buzzer was no good.

For his crime, Da Bull's penance was suspended for two games and assigned by the team to 50 hours of community service and he must now carry Michael Vick's water bottle thru the airport.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

January 24, 2007

If an NHL All Star Game is played and no one watches, does it still make a sound?

Quick, name me 5 NHL All Stars NOT named Crosby, Ovechkin, Gagne, Broduer, Sakic or Lidstrom. That leaves you 36 players to choose from.

{slight pause}

(buzzer sound) Time's up.

Not to sound like my father but I can remember the old days when I could name essentially every player on the All Star Rosters. Gretzky. Lemieux. Messier. Yzerman. And on and on and on...

And now?

Perhaps its because of the Flyers' downright dismal season and perhaps its a lingering effect of the strike but...I would be very hard pressed to name even the starting lineups for tonight's game.

The NHL has a major public relations issue and there really doesn't seem to be an end in sight.

I have become completely apathetic toward the game of hockey. And that was not always the case, I assure you.

I am one who used to gerry rig the coat hanger to pick up the feed on a 13 inch B&W TV from Channel 9 in New York back in 70s to watch, with my older brothers, the Flyers play the Rangers at the Spectrum. People forget that once upon a time, home games were NOT televised.

I am also one who, along with my trusted confidant, Mr. Q, used to be regular in-person viewers of the Orange & Black, having spent many a night at the Spectrum and the Center. In fact, he and I were in attendance the night the Spectrum was arguably its loudest.

1987 Cup Finals. Game 6. Oilers/Flyers. JJ Daignuealt scores late to send it back to Edmonton. The earth moved that night my friends.

So perhaps after the Super Bowl, I will watch a few games here and there and perhaps if the Flyers were playing better...but in general, I simply have better things to do with my time than to watch a hockey game.

I hope Ed Snider, Gary Bettman, et al are listening...

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

January 23, 2007

I'm sorry, can you repeat that? Part Deux...

Yesterday I told you of the mind-boggling statements made by Mike Tyson's lawyer who, in his eyes, drug possession and driving under the influence of drugs are victim-less crimes.

Today I give you Janice McAlarney, mother of Notre Dame point guard Kyle McAlarney.

Her son was arrested last month on a marijuana possession charge and today it was announced that her son was being suspended by the school for this semester and could not attend classes much less play basketball.

Speaking to the media about her son's suspension, the elder McAlarney said: "All I know is my son was suspended from school and he's headed home. I don't know anything else beyond that. All I know is I'm ashamed of how they did this. ... I'm ashamed of the university. My son is a great kid. He did not deserve this. The punishment did not fit the crime."

I'm sorry, can you repeat that? And did you leave something out from your statement?

Where's the part where you say how ashamed you are of your son for having an illegal drug in his possession? Where's the remorse on behalf of your son?

'Your son did not deserve this? The punishment did not fit the crime?'

No, that's where your wrong Mother McAlarney. Your son DID deserve this and the punishment DID fit the crime.

Unfortunately we have become conditioned now to accept marijuana possession - especially when it comes to celebrities and athletes -- as a minor offense and essentially blow it off. 'Ah, it was just a little pot was all...what's the big deal?'
The 'big deal' is marijuana use has been proven ad nauseum to lead to the use of so-called 'harder' drugs.

If it was crack cocaine Mother McAlarney, instead of marijuana, then would you think differently?

What if it were a DUI?

Where does it stop?

What will you say to your son when gets home?

Let me guess. You're considering taking legal action against the school for the way they mistreated your son?
Only in America...

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

January 22, 2007

Message in the Bottle...

So Falcons QB Michael, or is it Mike(?), Vick will in fact NOT face criminal charges over a suspicious bottle he tried to bring through security at Miami International Airport last Wednesday.

A police report said the bottle appeared from the outside to contain water but had a compartment behind the label. That compartment contained a "small amount of dark particulate" and an odor consistent with marijuana, the report said. The report did not say what the material was.

A compartment behind the label? What is this, Get Smart? Will Vick be talking on his shoe phone next?

And where exactly do you buy water bottles with a compartment behind the label and why would you ever need a water bottle with a compartment behind the label?

The answers are of course, most of us don't know where to buy water bottles with the secret compartment and the reason you would need such a container is to hide something, as in something illegal.

Or perhaps one would need such a compartment to hold one's lunch money? Maybe what's the compartment is for...yeah, that's the ticket.

Do you think Falcons Owner Arthur Blank is smiling these days? First he fires his coach after an extremely disappointing season and now this? Home Depot employees better be on their best behavior or ol' Art will be taking it out on them.

Odds and Ends...

Some observations, comments and the like on this and that.

• Playoff Party. Well I went 1 for 2 this weekend, correctly predicting the Colts to beat the Pats but came up very short in the Saints/Bears game, as of course did the Saints themselves. Perhaps now the focus can shift back to where it should have been all along: on those people who STILL have not recovered or received any help following Hurricane Katrina.
- Fix the Superdome at a cost of a gazillion dollars? Check.
- Help people who don't even have a home? We'll get around to it. In the meantime, GO SAINTS!
• RIP Officer Levitt.
- Fans of the classic 70s sitcom Barney Miller (of which I know Jody is one of), were saddened by the passing of Ron Carey, AKA, Officer Levitt a few days ago. The epitome of the Napoleonic complex, Levitt often times provided the straight man to the12th Precinct's group of eclectic group of detectives.
• The Tuna Melt is off the Menu. So Bill Parcells has in fact left the Cowboys? Do you think a certain Wide Receiver who wears #81 had anything to do with his decision to retire?
• They know the play! They know the play! Do you remember that line from the very underrated movie, Little Giants, starring Ed (Al Bundy) O'Neill? Well Andy Reid et al may be saying that a lot next year when the Eagles play the Giants. Why? Because the Giants have hired Steve Spagnuolo, most recently the linebackers coach of the Eagles, to be their next defensive coordinator. Something to keep an eye on next year.
• I'm sorry, can you repeat that? Did you catch this? Mike Tyson is accused of drug possession and driving under the influence of drugs. Today his lawyer attempted to defend his client's actions AND also everyone's actions whose ever been accused of these crimes: "Drug addiction is a victimless crime. We believe this is the kind of crime where you shouldn't go to prison." A victimless crime? No, jaywalking is a victimless crime. Someone other than the consumer ripping off the tag from a recliner is a victimless crime. Doing drugs and driving while on said narcotics is anything but a victimless crime. Are you kidding me? You gotta love lawyers. They can spin anything negative into a positive in the blink of a paycheck.
• Had to do a double take. So there I was, in the supermarket earlier today with my wife and son. Won't say which one other than the name comes right after the words Jolly Green ________. As soon as you enter this particular store, you are greeted by the Produce section. This one is no different, replete with the obligatory colorful imagery, the well stocked fruits and vegetable stands and the like. Almost instantly a sign caught my attention and tell me if this sounds odd to you. The sign read "Crunchy Grapes, 99 cents a pound". Now sure the price sounds pretty darn good but what caught my eye was the descriptor they used: Crunchy? I dont know if I really want to bite into a grape that is crunchy? Now I'm sure, at least I hope this is why, they wanted to convey how fresh the grapes were and that they would not be too soft, and there's nothing worse than a soft grape. But crunchy? How about 'fresh' or 'juicy' or even 'refreshing'? Needless, or is that Seedless to say, we did not purchase any grapes.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

January 19, 2007

It was the best of times...

On the first weekend's games of the NFL Playoffs, yours truly went a sparkling 4-0.

It was the worst of times...

On the second weekend's games of the NFL Playoffs, yours truly went a slightly less than sparkling 0-4.
There was one caveat however to the second weekend's games as I predicted the Eagles would need to score at LEAST 27 to win and if they did not, they would lose.

So clearly if the pattern continues I should go 2-0 this weekend and then completely miss the Super Bowl pick entirely.

For the record, I like the Colts to exercise the Patriots demons and I may be in the minority here but I think they will win comfortably, at least the score will reflect some level of comfort.

I see a 34-21 kind of score with perhaps a late Colts TD providing the last bit of comfort.

In the NFC, I like the Saints to go into Chicago and beat the Bears. Mr. Grossman will be playing a substantially better defense than the porous Seahawks he faced last week.

Saints 31
Bears 20

Company Man...

Andy Reid is a very smart man, there's no arguing that point. But as is the case with many smart people, often times they outthink themselves.

And I think he doing just that by putting the kibosh on the Donovan McNabb press conference. Andy's been around these parts long enough to know that the media would pounce on this and just it add to the Rolodex of the Donovan McNabb, AKA Eagles Company Man, file.

People around here are already calling for Jeff Garcia's return to be at the very least, #5's backup. But these same people should also know of #5's fragile psyche.

Do you really think TO is not an Eagle anymore for reasons other than he caused off the field problems? How many #81 jerseys were sold during his time here? I dont know the exact numbers but I will bet you it outsold #5.

And that the Eagles and Donovan simply could not have. TO had to go, I am not saying anything to the contrary but rest assured his (TOs) growing popularity did not sit well with #5 and Big Red.
There's only room for one number 1 and in this town for this team, it is Donovan McNabb. Period. End of story. Turn the page. Game over.

People in this town want answers. They want to know what our athletes and coaches are thinking and when they dont give in to their demands, they start to make up their own answers and imaginations run wild, fueled in large part by a certain OTHER radio station in town.

During the season the Eagles can get away with not answering questions by taking the fans mind off it by winning.

But in the offseason...there's nothing else to talk about.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

January 16, 2007

File all of these under GIMME A BREAK...

Outfielder Endy Chavez today signed a one-year contract worth $1,725,000 with the New York Mets. Is baseball that bereft of quality outfielders that a .269 career hitter...a punch and judy hitter at that, ND has all of 15 HRs in over 1,600 at bats...can get a contract worth that much money??!!

Former Sixer Chris Webber signs on with the Pistons. Said Webber of joining his hometown Pistons: "This is the best I've felt in three years. Now the thing I want to do most is win a championship, put myself back on that kind of level.I just want to get back to playing with a smile on my face and playing with a team that can really vie for a title."

First off, the kind of level Chris refers to has long since passed him by and everyone knows it, so spare us. Secondly, you want to go back to playing with a smile on your face? So that means you entire time in Philly was just the opposite? You had nothing to smile about? I'm thinking the first and fifteenth of each month you had a little grin on your face, yes?

Chargers fans call for Schottenheimer's head. Does the term scapegoat mean anything to the fans of the Bolts? It should because that's exactly what you are making your head coach out to be. Marty was not the one who had the ball stripped away after intercepting a pass, was he? Marty was not the one who committed the brain dead Personal Foul Penalty AFTER the Chargers Defense had sacked Tom Brady, was he?

But it was Coach Schottenheimer who made the decision to go for it on 4th and 11 from the 30 instead of attempting a field goal.

It was also Coach Schottenheimer who brought on the offensive coordinator that somehow managed to get the ball in LaDainian Tomlinson's hands all of 8 times the ENTIRE 2nd Half.

So is Coach Schottenheimer the scapegoat or should be removed as coach of the Chargers?

The bottom line is Marty Schottenheimer led his team to a 14-2 regular season record but in today's sports world, it only matters what you do come Playoff Time. All else becomes irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

So having said all that, it would not surprise one bit if the Chargers fired him

And while we're at it, someone please tell LT to just clam up. You got beat. Now move on.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

January 15, 2007

The Eagles Have Landed...

It's now been 2 days (almost) since the Eagles' season ended in New Orleans. In my pick last Friday, I took the Eagles to win with one caveat: they needed to score at LEAST 27 points to win and if they did, they would not win.

How and why did I land on 27 points? No clue, just seemed like the right number to go with based on how they played last week against a Giants Offense that did not have nearly the same number of weapons the Saints did.

Now before you go anointing me as the next Nostradamus or Kreskin, know that I also picked the Seahawks, Chargers and Ravens to win, too.

So another Eagles season has come and gone and once again, Philly fans are left with the "there's always next year" consolation when it comes to winning a championship in a major sport.

As fans of the Diatribe will attest to, I was one on the Conspiracy Bandwagon, believing the NFL was doing their part to ensure the Saints would, at the very least, get to the NFC Title Game.

And while there were some (ahem) strange calls on Saturday night, clearly the NFL nor its officials had anything to do with the ultimate outcome.

It was not the NFL who made Saints Coach Sean Payton call a pitch out late in the game which resulted in a fumble that very well could have been one of those plays that was talked about for years if the Birds had come back to win.

It was not the NFL who made Eagles Backup G Scott Young flinch on the 4th and 10 play.

It was not the NFL who made Andy Reid punt on the subsequent 4th and 15 play.

It was not the NFL who called the inexplicable swing pass to Thomas Tapeh on 3rd and 1 deep in the Red Zone, although I do believe with all my heart that Andy Reid himself called this play, at least I want to think that.

Here's why: If Marty Morninwheg did in fact call that play, then he is just as predictable as Big Red and we have no hope when it comes to play calling in tight situations. We know of Andy's penchant for conservatism when it gets to gut-check time BUT we were hopeful that Marty would not suffer from the same lump-in-throat-itis.

So I for one am hoping that Andy did in fact make that call.

Going forward the needs for the Eagles are plenty.

In no specific order.

• Linebacker
- Dhani aint cutting it
• DL/Run Stopping help
- Mike Patterson, Darwin Walker, Sam Rayburn, Broderick Bunkley and on and on...this group did not get it done on a consistent basis
- The Loss of Jevon Kearse cannot be overstated however as without a true pass rushing threat, opposing offenses did not need to double team anyone on the Eagles DL
• Cornerback Depth
- Rod Hood? William James? Nuff said.
• Safety to play alongside Dawkins
- Sean Considine is clearly not a starting Safety in the National Football League
• Kick Returner
- The Great Reno Mahe experiment must come to an end. He's a nice guy but so is my nephew Jason and I dont want him returning kicks, either.
• Kick Coverage
- Way too many times, the Eagles Kick Coverage unit allowed the opposition good starting field position following an Eagles score
• Resign Donte Stallworth
- He has proven that when healthy, he makes a difference
• Resign Jeff Garcia
- Donovan's fragile psyche be damned...#5 is getting older and his recent past indicates he will not make it thru an entire season unscathed, hence the need for a quality backup QB
Some positives out of this year:
• The play of Juqua Thomas and Trent Cole. Mix in the Freak and the Eagles have 3 pretty good pass rushing DE's.
• The improved play of Reggie Brown. Time and again, Reggie showed flashes that he is going to be a very good WR for years to come
• Brian Westbrook. Clearly one of the most underrated players in the league BUT he needs more focus and concentration when catching passes.
• The Offensive Line. Made huge strides as the season went on yet reverted back a little during the playoffs, especially on run blocking.
The bottom line is its very hard to get too upset over this team after the year they've had. At 5-6 I was one of those writing them off and openly questioning if they would even one more game, let alone 7 in a row.
So lets try to keep everything in perspective, recognize the needs and laud the good things that came from the 2006-07 version of the Philadelphia Eagles.
That's it. I'm out. Peace.

Cut Right to the Chase...

Pressed for time today, so I will get right to my picks for this weekend's games.

I like the Ravens to beat the Colts in a game that will be closer than some people think it will be. Ravens 27, Colts 21.

I like the Seahawks to beat the Bears, 27-17. I look for Rex Grossman to be taken out of the game by Lovie Smith, replaced by Brian Griese but the Seahawks experience will be the ultimate deciding factor.

I like the Chargers to beat the Patriots, despite Marty Schottenheimer's less than stellar playoff record. Chargers 31, Patriots 20.

And lastly, I like the Eagles to win 28, 24. The caveat is they must score at least 27 points to win. If they dont, they will lose.

January 12, 2007

The Big Easy...continued

Yesterday, I shared with you a theory of mine and Mr. Q's, my trusted partner and confidant. If you didn't hear it, it had to do with the Saints and the favorable positions they have been put in by the National Football League, starting with the Texans' seemingly inexplicable passing of Reggie Bush, thus allowing the USC star to go to the Big Easy and provide instant popularity and interest in a city that was reeling from Hurricane Katrina.

You know I, along with Mr. Q, hate to keep harping on this (actually we dont hate it all) but here's some more things to think about:

Who was responsible for the rebuilding of the Superdome and the immediate surrounding area? The nation was horrified at the deplorable conditions both inside and outside (part of the roof was torn off), the dead bodies, the raw sewage. Why there was even talk of demolishing it entirely. Granted the Saints didn't play there last year but just 1 short year later and presto there is the sparkling new Superdome, with its brand new roof which incidentally (coincidentally) is featured in an NFL commercial along with its pristine new surrounding infrastructure. While there are still parts of New Orleans that remain virtually untouched since the hurricane, somehow, someway, the Superdome got rebuilt in record time. Now we are not saying this is a bad thing, due to the integral role that the Superdome plays in the New Orleans economy, but you cannot deny that the NFL comes out as the big winner here if the Saints are successful. The NFL dumped a ton, literally a ton, of money into New Orleans economy and now wants it's payback and one way to do it is giving them Reggie Bush... the closest thing to an NFL sure thing in years.

Next let's look at Drew Brees. He wasn't good enough to keep his job in San Diego and he had the best offensive player in a decade on his team. He rides into New Orleans along with Reggie Bush and bada-bing-bada-boom...playoffs. Something doesn't add up for us.

And then comes today an article in our very own paper, The Inquirer, written by a Natalie Pompilio, who despite the fact that she lives in Philly and says she loves the city, thinks we all should root for the Saints because "New Orleans needs this more than Philadelphia does." She goes on to say that "Those who watch at home (in New Orleans) can stop worrying about their latest problems with FEMA or the insurance companies or their homes."

Now Ms. Pompilio does admit that she is a former resident of New Orleans, which of course plays a major role in her article but she conveniently left that little detail out until she was near the end of her piece.

Folks please don't misconstrue what Mr. Q and I are saying here. We surely are not saying anything negative toward the good people of New Orleans we certainly wish them nothing but the best now and in the future, but...

What if the situation were reversed? Do you think people would be rallying around Philadelphia, the town that threw snowballs at Santa albeit 40 years ago and the town with the worst fans in the country according to many --- to win a sporting event all to help it feel better about itself?

Don't think so.

What the people of New Orleans needed and still need is better leadership...at every level: city, state and federal. But that's another story for another show. This is just sports we're talking about.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

January 11, 2007

Saints Alive...

As friends of the Diatribe know, one of my closest and trusted confidants is a man named Mark Q. A little while back Mr. Q floated a theory past me that at first glance, seemed like something out of an Oliver Stone movie.

His theory goes a little like this: The NFL, sensing they needed to do something to help New Orleans as it recovered from the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina --- went to the Houston Texans prior to last year's draft and essentially made a deal with them in which they (the Texans) would NOT draft Reggie Bush, clearly thee marquee player coming out and thus allow the Saints to draft him and instantly gain a very marketable player, if not the most marketable player coming out of college.

Mr. Q's thinking was simple: How else can you explain the Texans NOT taking Bush? Now of course the Texans could have taken Vince Young or Matt Leinart and why they took Mario Williams is anyone's guess and perhaps the only man who knows the real truth to that question no longer works for the Texans, former GM Charlie Casserly. But that's another story for another time.

As I said, when I first heard this theory it seemed a bit outlandish but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. It was in the league's best interest to have a competitive team in New Orleans.

The city, as well as the country, needed to feel good about New Orleans again.

Now Mr. Q has never come out and actually said that the NFL had anything to do with the Saints' success this year but I don't think it would be too much of a stretch to say he has considered it, as have I. No proof exists mind you and you can call us conspiracy theorists if you like but consider the latest evidence, circumstantial as it may be.

The Saints' first opponent in the playoffs are the Eagles, of course. And when did the NFL schedule this game? On Saturday. And when did the Eagles last play? On Sunday. Translation: The Eagles will be playing a short week. Contrarily, the other team to play last Sunday, the Patriots, will be playing once again on Sunday, having been spared the shorter week.

Now you may be thinking, 'yeah but if the NFL really wanted to help the Saints, they would havescheduled the game earlier on Saturday thereby further shortening the Eagles week.'

But that would have been too obvious folks, give the NFL some credit.

Let's just see how the officiating goes come game time, shall we? Let's just see if there are any (ahem) questionable calls that go in the Saints' favor.

And if there are, just remember where you heard it first.

You Dropped a Tom on me...

Did I hear right? The Giants not only did NOT fire Tom Coughlin but they instead they gave him an extension?

What is this, Detroit? I know all about the Giants having injuries out the proverbial wahzoo but...boo hoo, so does every other team.

What every other team does NOT have is its players openly questioning their head coach and each other as the Giants did this past season.

And spare me the 'well they did make the playoffs this year'. Yeah and so did the Chiefs and do you think they deserved to, either? Of course not.

As an Eagles fan, I am ecstatic. Keep the guy who preaches discipline but does not practice it. Keep the guy who has been at the helm while his young QB regresses each year. Keep the guy whose players publicly question him when things go bad.

But as an NFL fan, it simply makes no sense. It's not like the Giants would have had to pay him a lot not to coach (one year left on his contract).

So why? Why keep such an unpopular coach?

I don't have the answer to that question but I will check with Mr. Q and get back to you.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

January 5, 2007

Role Models?...

It's a fact. Young people today look more to their favorite sports players than they do to their own parents, teachers and friends. They are very much influenced by what they see and hear.

Blame it on the Internet, Cable TV, iPods, cell phones, ESPN, MTV....whatever. The fact remains kids today are exposed to so much more than people over say the age of 35 EVER were.

We all had our sports heroes but other than what we read in the paper or saw on the sports portion of our newscast, that was pretty much all we had to go on.

For all the positives that come from watching a player like Peyton Manning or LaDainain Tomlinson and how they conduct themselves on and off the field of play, there are unfortunately many more negative influences from the world of sports and there is simply no end in sight.

And lest you think its just from the players...

The Crimson Tide of Alabama have themselves a new head coach, Nick Saban. Yes, the same Nick Saban who adamantly told reporters a few weeks ago that he was NOT leaving the Dolphins, thereby implying that he would honor the remainder of his contract.

I can just hear Nick giving the commencement speech next year at 'Bama:

"So in closing, I would just like to say to all the graduates that it's very important to always keep your word and honor your commitments. Because without your word, you're not worth a helluva lot. So remember kids, always keep your word...unless of course you get a chance to make millions! Then I say, what the hell, go for it!"

Of course the players are the ones who get the most publicity. Here's just 3 examples of literally thousands to pull from:

• The Cincinnati Bengals had quite a roll call of offenders over the past 12 months, huh? Seemed like every other day practically one Bengal or another was running afoul of the law. Think many Chris Henry jerseys were bought this past Christmas?

• Or how bout 'Melo? As in the Denver Nuggets' Carmelo Anthony. He of course was involved in the on-court fight not long ago with the Knicks. He is the one who sucker-punched former Owl Mardy Collins then ran away like a little baby. Speaking about the fight, Melo is quoted in the most recent Sports Illustrated as saying: "One incident, and you're a gangster and a thug again..." "Again?" As in you've done something like this in the past, Melo? Two other interesting tidbits from the same SI article: 1. Melo is spending his down time after having been suspended for 15 games by taking boxing lessons. What, was the Karate class all full?

2. Allen Iverson, Melo's soon to be teammate, apparently feels for his fellow Nugget. "I want to be there for Anthony," he says. "I want to have a positive impact on his career and on his life." Allen Iverson = Positive Impact? Sorry captain that does not equate and is totally illogical.

• Bears QB Rex Grossman, not exactly entrenched as the team's starting QB, had himself a rough game this past week vs. the Packers as the Bears prepped for the playoffs. Rex was 2/12 for 33 yards and 3 interceptions in limited duty. Now this is not about Rex's ineffectiveness. If the guy's just not good enough, that is hardly a crime. What bothered me enough to bring up is what Rex said after the game.

"In this league, especially at this position (QB), you have to bring it every single week, no matter what. And the situation was I felt like I was going to play about a half, and it was the last game, it was New Year's Eve -- there were so many other factors that brought my focus away from what is actually important, and that's something that I am never going to do again. There is too much I am responsible for to not give it 100 percent during the week and just the full attention."

Okay, what jumped out at you? For me it was easy. The part where Rex references the fact that it was New Year's Eve. Are you kidding me? You are a professional. The fact that you are an athlete, a well paid one at that, is irrelevant. You are a professional. Period. What difference does it make if it was New Year's Eve? What if policemen and women and doctors and nurses adopted such a devil-may-care attitude?

'I'm sorry Mr. Jones, you're gonna have to wait for that emergency surgery on account it's New Year's Eve."

'What's that Mrs. Anderson, there's someone breaking into your house right now? Well, tell you what, as soon as it's 12:01, we'll send someone right over.'

Playoff Possibilities...

My picks for this weekend's games.

Colts 35 Chiefs 24
Seahawks 28 Cowboys 24
Patriots 27 Jets 17
Eagles 27 Giants 17

Yes all four home teams to win, something that is not too common around playoff time.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

December 20, 2006

More-a on Mora...

As a follow up to last week's story about Falcons Coach Jim Mora outwardly expressing his desire to coach the Washington Huskies to only later insist it was a joke...

Seems at least one of his players did in fact find humor in his comments.

Falcons DB DeAngelo Hall told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

"If you really know Jim and spend time with him, you know that he jokes like that all the time. For him to go out and say a comment like that, and say he said it jokingly, I'm behind him 100 percent because I know him. Had we been 14-2 right now, that would have just been a sound bite and gone the next day. We are behind him. We love him. He's a player's coach. He looks out for us."

Now I'm not quite sure what the difference would be if the Falcons were in fact 14-2, which in case anyone's counting would mean the regular season would be over and thus they would NOT be in the middle of a playoff run. If you recall, Coach Mora said he didnt care if the Falcons were in the middle of a playoff run, he would leave instantly to go and coach the Huskies.

For his part, Mora said he spoke with the Falcons about the comments three times last weekend.

Said Shecky Mora: "They laughed at me. They said, 'We don't care about that, you're our guy.'"

As for Falcons Owner Arthur Blank, I dont think he'll be booking his coach for a week at Caesar's Palace any time soon as he said Saturday that {he} "used very bad judgment." Blank did however say he felt Mora's apologies were sincere.

And it just hit me, the one player to come to the defense of Mora, DeAngelo Hall, is the same guy who got spit on by Terrell Owens.

See, in the end, it ALL comes back to TO. And that's just how he wants it.

Without The Answer, many Questions remain...

So Philly fans no longer have Allen Iverson to kick around. What ever are we going to do? There surely isnt anyone left on the Sixers to complain about, is there?

Chris Webber? Please, that'd be like picking on your grandfather. Yeah, Chris, you do look that old on the court.

Samuel Dalembert? Kyle Korver? Andre Iguodola? Nah, aint worth our time. Besides, they're all boring.

Mo Cheeks? Billy King? Well sure Philly fans can ALWAYS find SOMETHING to get on our coach or GM about. That's never been a problem and it wont be now.

How about the new guys? Andre Miller and Joe Smith and the two first round draft picks.

Personally, I dont like that one first round pick at all...he seems way to cocky for my liking, but they, that's just me.

In the Philly Sports Graveyard, what will Allen Iverson's epitaph be? Perhaps Jody you want to query your listeners for their suggestions.

Here's mine:

"Here lies Allen Iverson. For nearly 10 years and despite his being considerably smaller than most of the players he played against, he displayed an emotion, passion and fearlessness the likes of which we have not seen in these parts for many moons. Yes, he shot way too many times and yes he was often uncontrollable off the court but perhaps the biggest regret we as Philly fans have over his "passing" is the fact that he was never afforded the opportunity to play with at least one other player of his caliber and talent; someone who could shoulder some of the burden of being a savior to a sports franchise. Go "West" in Peace AI."

But now that AI is gone and the Flyers are playing like its 1967 and they're an expansion team all over again and the Eagles are playing better, who can we complain about??!!

This is serious, folks. We need someone to step up so we can go down on them immediately.

Maybe the Eagles will lose badly to the Cowboys on Christmas and we can take Andy Reid and place him back under the Greyhound.

A fella can dream, can't he?

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

December 15, 2006

The Story Remains the Same...

You think we are unique and different here in Philly, right? Well, we are, very much so. We root root root for the home team with an unrivaled passion and often times with blind loyalty.

We think our teams are both the best and worst, often at the same time. Same goes for our coaches.

Today I was reminded however of just how alike we are to other sports cities around the country.
Example #1

I was listening to WFAN in New York, former home to one Joseph Alousscious McDonald. (Sorry Jody, I'm sure I brutalized the spelling of your middle name).

It was during a crossover segment (one show crossing over to another) and the respective hosts were discussing this week's Giants/Eagles game.

What they said reminded me instantly of how many in this town view the Eagles...the media and general public alike The hosts, all to a man, said they "loved the Giants this week."

My initial reaction was HUH? How could they...or anyone for that matter, love the Giants? Now this has nothing to do with being an Eagles fan. Jody will be the first to tell you I call it as I see it and will be the first to rip the Eagles or any Philly team. Heck, I even get accused of being TOO negative toward Philly teams.

But I dont care WHO the Giants are playing this week...the Eagles, the Cowboys, even the Lions. How can anyone in the right and objective mind say they love the Giants?

I'll tell you how. The same way many in this town can say they love the Eagles.

The point to all of this is no matter where you go, no matter what NFL city you pick, you will ALWAYS find a bastion of blind subjectivity and lack of overall objectivity.

For the record, I do not love the Eagles this weekend. I would be foolish to state that, even if I believed it!

However, I liked the Birds a little toward the beginning of this week and now seeing how the Giants have decided to speak out and thus provide some bulletin board material for the Eagles to stew over, I now like the Eagles even more.

Eagles 23
Giants 17

Example #2

You know how we all complain about Andy Reid and how he doesn't say enough nor tell us enough during his press conferences? It drives us crazy, right?

But at least we know he wants to be here, right? We know he wants to coach the Eagles this year and beyond, right? He wants to bring us a title, right?

Well consider yourself lucky that you don't live in Atlanta.

In an interview with KJR Radio in Seattle Friday morning, Falcons Coach Jim Mora said he would love to coach his alma mater, the University of Washington.

Now on the surface, that all sounds okay, right? I mean here's a guy who obviously still has ties to his old school and perhaps under the right circumstances, like if he were NOT coaching the Falcons, he would love to go back and coach the Huskies.

Ummm, just one problem. Coach Mora apparently doesn't care if he is the Falcons Coach or not, he's apparently ready to jump ship right now.

Here's an excerpt from the interview:

Interviewer: "If there's an opening, and you're available, we want you to coach the Huskies."

Mora: "Well, I really have a lot of respect for Ty (Ty Willingham is currently the head caoch at Washington), and I know he'll do a great job. But if he ever decides to move on, and get in the NFL or you know, go back to Notre Dame or whatever, if that job's open you'll find me at the friggin' head of the line with my resume in my hand ready to take that job."

Interviewer: "If you're available."

Mora: "It doesn't even matter if I'm available."

Interviewer: "So if you just won the Super Bowl, and it's available, you're there?"

Mora: "I'd be there. I'd do it, I promise you that. Now, I want to see Ty succeed, and I want to see that program succeed. But if he decides at some point that he's ready to move on and they want me, I will be there. I don't care if we're in the middle of a playoff run I'm packing my stuff and coming back to Seattle."

Interviewer: "So, are you saying...?"

Mora: "You know, it's funny, and I mean that, and I'm dead serious, the further I get away from it the more I'm drawn to it. You know, that's the job I want, so..."

Interviewer: "You would leave the Falcons for that job?"

Mora: "Absolutely."

Interviewer: "Wow."

Wow, indeed.

Now Coach Mora has come out and said this whole thing was just a big joke.

"He (one of the hosts) was my college roommate and we were just talking and he threw that out there so it was like, 'okay.' We were clowning around. It was nothing serious, trust me."

Yeah, that is some serious comedy right there, kids. I mean I'm dying over here laughing...my sides hurt. Imagine how funny Falcons fans think it was.

I don't know which comment is more egregious than the next? I think my favorite one is "I don't care if we're in the middle of a playoff run I'm packing my stuff and coming back to Seattle."

Um, Jim...you may want to look at the standings there, big guy. From where I sit, in the middle of a playoff run is EXACTLY where you are!

In fact, you have a HUGE game in exactly one day against the Dallas Cowboys.

Can't just hear the collective laughter of the Falcons players when they hear and read their coach's hilarious comments?

And what do you think Falcons Owner Arthur Blank is thinking after hearing of his coach's apparent wantoness to leave his employ? Well unfortunately, Mr. Blank could not be reached for comment.

He was probably holed up in one of his Home Depot stores trying to make sense of this whole thing.

If I were Mr. Blank, I would call my coach into my office and have a heart-to-heart with him. I would look him straight in the eye and if I thought for one second that he was NOT joking around, he would be gone. I do not want anyone working for me who does not want to be there.

And if I did think he was joking, I would tell him to leave the humor to the professionals, shut his damn mouth and coach the damn team.

Either way, if I am Mr. Blank, I am none too happy right now.

That's it. I'm out. Peace.
Steve O

December 8, 2006

3 Quarters Down...1 To Go...

In July of this year, yours truly did his best Kreskin impression by ranking the all 32 NFL teams.

With 3 in the books, and one quarter of a season to go, I wonder who Kreskin-esque I was...hmmmm.

My bottom five in July were:
32. Houston Texans
31. San Francisco Forty-Niners
30. Buffalo Bills
29. Green Bay Packers
28. Oakland Raiders

Retrospective glaring omissions? The Browns, Lions, Cardinals & Bucs all can make a case for Bottom 5 status while the Niners and Bills and arguably the Texans can make an equal case for remove from the Bottom 5 moniker.

My top five in July were:
5. Seattle Seahawks
4. New England Patriots
3. Denver Broncos
2. Indianapolis Colts
1. Pittsburgh Steelers

Retrospective glaring incusions? Obviously the Steelers jumps right out as thee most glaring inclusion. But who knew back in July that the Steel Curtain would become a Silk Shade this year?

Some other lowlights from my previous prognistications:

At #15 I had the San Diego Chargers, behind teams such as Tampa, Miami, Jacksonville, Carolina and the Giants, OUCH!!

At #20 behind the (gulp!) Arizona Cardinals, I had the Baltimore Ravens. DOUBLE OUCH!

I now give you my revised & updated and this team I really know what I'm talking about: Bottom & Top Five:

32. Detroit Lions
31. Oakland Raiders
30. Tampa Bay Buccanneers
29. Houston Texans
28. Green Bay Packers

5. Chicago Bears
4. Baltimore Ravens
3. New England Patriots
2. Indianapolis Colts
1. San Diego Chargers

What a Meche-terpiece...
Who in the name of Sid Monge is Gil Meche and how did he get a 5 year/$55 million contract from the Royals of all people??!!!

Last year for the M's Gil went 11-8 with a 4.48 ERA. He registered 156 Ks in a little over 186 innings while allowing 183 hits and 84 walks. For his career he is 55 up and 44 down with a 4.65 ERA.

Has baseball become so devoid of quality starting pitching that Gil Meche can get $11 mil per year? This is not meant to disrespect Mr. Meche but...c'mon kids, whats going on here?

If Gil Meche can get $11 mil, what's Barry Zito gonna get?

And next you'll be telling me JD Drew will get $20 mil per from team...oh yeah, that already happened...

Where have you gone, Sil Campusano?

That's it. I'm out. Peace.

December 4, 2006

Been a while my friends, but the Big Man's been going through some challenging times lately but I know, I know...its no excuse to keep you from benefitting from the Diatribe. I will promise to be more diligent.

Philly Phans in a State of Phlux...

I have a theory to lay on you and it...

• has nothing to do with scientific fact

• is based solely on my own unconventional musings and observations

We in Philadelphia are spoiled. No not by the low crime rate (wink/wink) or clean streets and low taxes (double wink/wink).

See like the rich kid who wakes up every Christmas morning with a roomful of presents, we became accustomed to two of our sports teams being perenially solid, playoff-caliber, championship-contending teams.

And like that same rich kid who woke up one Chrismtas to find bupkus under his tree and thus began to pitch a fit and walk around in a what-just-happened-here daze, we Philly sports fans do not know how to react to the demise of our Flyers and Eagles.

Think about it.

For years, the Flyers were good for their 90 or so points and a relatively high seed in the playoffs. Sure they were also good for a first round exit to a weaker team but let's not go there. The fact is year in, year out, they fielded (or would that be iced?) a very good, competitive team who could play with any team in the league.

We also had the Eagles spoiling us with 10,11, 12+ wins a season. Top seed in the playoffs. A very good, strong team that was at times dominant. Opposing teams feared playing the Eagles and rightly so.

And now?

We have two teams, known for their physical style of play; their talent; their drive, their devotion; their history of winning, all reduced to mere shells of their former selves. And we don't know how to act.

Like the rich kid who got nothing for Christmas, we too walk around in a what-just-happened-here daze.

Sure, we try to put on the good face and rationalize:

"You know a break here or there and the Eagles could easily be 7-4 or 8-3."

"The NFC is so weak right now, we're right there with a couple of wins."

"And the Flyers are just in a bad streak right now. A few players here and there and they're right back on top."

Come to think of it, we say the same about the Eagles, too...a player here and there...

I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news kids and you may want to sit down or pull over for this but...

The cold, harsh reality is the Philadelphia Eagles and Philadelphia Flyers are just not very good professional sports teams right now.

In fact, I will take it a step further...they are at or near the bottom of their respective sports.

I know this hurts to hear and I do not enjoy saying it but the truth is the truth and while Colonel Nathan R Jessup, AKA Jack Nicholson may have been right when he said: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" ... unfortunately its still the truth.

And what of the Phillies and Sixers in my theory?

Well the good thing about them is they have spoiled us too but in the opposite direction, particularly the Sixers who should thank their lucky stars every day the New York Knicks and Isiah Thomas are around to lay claim to the title of "Worst Run NBA Franchise-Post LA Clippers-era."

And yes, I know the Phillies are playing better but c'mon kids. It's been 13 years and counting and as long as people like Uncle Charlie in the mix, its gonna be at least another 13 years...if not longer.

So, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

As for tonight's game...

I think Jeff Garcia will throw 3 TD passes and maybe even one of them will go to the right team.

Panthers 24
Eagles 14