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With a little help from our friend

May 23, 2006 | By Dennis Bakay | Discuss

Tonight is the night Sixers fans have been waiting for. They will get to see just which prized prospect they will land.

Oh wait.

Nevermind.

They currently sit at #13 in the lottery, and their chances are 6:1000 of landing the top pick, thus there are better chances hell will thaw out tomorrow than they land the top pick.

Many times GM's bring good luck charms with them to the lottery. As a matter of fact, Billy King brought Smarty Jones' horseshoe with him to the 2004 lottery.

I have the ultimate good luck charm though.

Fear not I have sought out the services of a witchdoctor named "Boubacar" to not only increase their chances, but guarantee them that #1 pick.

With that said, the Sixers can't possibly screw that up. It's a shame that this draft is devoid of star power like a Shaquille O'Neal, Tim Duncan, Lebron James, Dwight Howard, or high school center phenom Greg Oden.

The Sixers' lottery fate tonight lies in the hands of Boubacar the witchdoctor shown in this photo

Thus, the Sixers' choices are limited. They need a college player with experience and size who can contribute immediately. This leaves them with one choice-LeMarcus Aldridge. He's no Greg Oden, but a nice consolation prize that can anchor the middle. He dominated at times for Texas this past season and would be just what the doctor ordered, or in this case the Witchdoctor.

If there's one thing about the Billy King regime we know about it's that he drafts very well. He has drafted Kyle Korver and Willie Greene in the 2nd round in 2003. He picked Andre Iguodala in 2004 with his lone first round pick since assuming control as President and GM following Larry Brown's departure. He's inherited just one first round pick. Isn't that pathetic?! And, he chose high schooler Lois Williams in the 2nd round last year. That's a nice draft history and magnificent compared to the Sixers' draft blunders in recent years. Just see Chuck Smith's latest article for evidence.

So, rest assured Billy King will make the right selection with the #1 pick and take LeMarcus Aldridge, with the help of our trusty friend, Boubacar the witch doctor.

Or, if by some spiritual calamnity Boubacar fails us and the Sixers are left to pick #13. Then, they'll have to make the decision of trading up to select Randy Foye, which wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. But, there's really nothing this team needs at #13. They need a point guard in the 7-10 range such as Randy Foye by trading up, or the #1 pick. And, it would be great for the team by selecting an area player.

However, we won't have to worry about that because Boubacar will work his magic to seal the deal for the #1 pick tonight in the lottery.

Boubacar don't fail us. All of Philadelphia and Sixers fans throughout the area and nation are counting on you.

The fate of the franchise is in your hands.

Contact Dennis Bakay at dennisbakay@phillypurge.com

Writer Details

Dennis Bakay

Dennis Bakay has been a writer since the ripe old age of 6 when he created imaginative Sci-fi stories. He got into sports writing when he was in high school and went on to become the sports editor of the high school paper in his senior year. Upon graduation he went on to Shippensburg University for two years where he became interested in writing screenplays and directing movies. While working on several screenplays he got his first directing gig in his sophomore year and directed a one-act play of a movie you may have heard of called Pulp Fiction. He got in touch with Quentin Tarantino's assistant and she acquiesced saying it was ok to do it as long as no profit was made. Thus, Bakay directed the segment of Pulp Fiction called The Bonnie Situation, when Jules and Vincent had a little cleaning up to do. Added to that, Bakay made his acting debut by portraying The Wolf. The play received huge acclaim and was good preparation for his move to Temple's film school program the next year. Bakay was known for his bizarre movies, which rivaled those of David Lynch's earlier short movies. His best known movie was a political mudslinging commercial where Sonny Bono's wife Mary Bono, Former Washington D.C. Mayor Marion Berry, and a Catholic priest James Cain III were running for president. He made many other short films in college and wrote his first completed screenplay in 2002 entitled Silent Thunder which is a labyrinthine Sci-fi/Horror movie which delves inside the mind. It is Clockwork Orange meets Being John Malkovich meets Jack the Ripper.


Bakay founded Phillypurge.com in the summer of 2004 after becoming fed up with the litany of bad moves by former Phillies GM Ed Wade. It all started when he posted an Ebay auction in which he was selling Ed Wade. And, his baby has slowly evolved into what it is today with a staff of a half dozen regular contributors and an additional half dozen contributors.

Phillypurge.com was founded with the frustrated and tortured Philadelphia fans in mind (who are beaten down by the losing) as a philly sports fan site to not only get the news from people who feel their pain, but to get a wide-ranging set of opinions from writers who focus on Philadelphia and national news.

With the Fan Purge section Phillypurge.com offers Phiadelphia sports fans a place to really be heard and have their ideas seen by all.

Visit me at www.myspace.com/dennisbakay

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