Who Killed JFK?
October 14, 2006
| By Dallas Owens
| 
Discuss
Who killed JFK? Where those little green men at Roswell? Did we ever land
on the moon? Now add to that, who sabotaged Terrell Owens' homecoming? You
better believe there was a conspiracy! October 8th, it was supposed to be
judgment day. Do you dare question the ability of a man who – not
only played- but played exceptionally in the Super Bowl with a broken leg?
You remember that game, it was the same one where your quarterback puked
a lung and choked –literally- down the stretch. Now here was T.O.
with Dallas, and one week removed from an accidental overdoes, and just
2 weeks removed from wrist surgery, back in Philly. He arrived back into
your disgusting, dilapidated and downtrodden city like a Nazi walking through
the ruins of France. He rides in on a chariot with beautiful blue stars
blazoned on each side and then someone, ruined his day. We know Bill Parcells
hates Terrell. T.O. is everything that Parcells despises, a player
with immense talent that also has a brain and speaks his mind. He's not
a brain dead meat puppet who replies "how high coach?" Then there
is Drew Bledsoe, a quarterback whose success never matched his talented
arm. Maybe, just maybe, he kept the ball away from T.O. It's no secret that
Jerry Jones was the only one in Dallas that wanted Owens, and I think last
Sunday Parcells and Bledsoe made it abundantly clear that T.O. is not in
their plans going forward. T.O. could have had 3 touchdowns in that game.
He could have smoked the Eagles' aching secondary like a hooker sparking
a blunt in a meth lab. Where was the ball? Bill? Drew? Where was the ball?
You think Terrell wasn't the victim of being blackballed by his own team?
Yeah and Jim Morrison, Elvis and Tupac aren't somewhere sipping cocktails
on a remote island reading this right now.
And, I'd also like to send my condolensces to "The Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin's family. I know it's a little late, but I forgot to last time, so sue me. And, I wanna send a big FU to the people who "retalitated" against those stingrays. Listen people, if you wanna really send a message to those ugly looking bastards you should kill a stingray, string it up on a pier like Jesus Christ then stab it in it's own chest with it's tail to send a message to it's fellow brethren. I guarantee you they'll never think of killing someone again. No, wait wasn't he like the 14th person in recorded history to have been killed by one? 14 is still 14 too many. They still need to be put in line like the rest of the animals on this planet.
On to some good news. I would like to retract what I said about the Phillies/Yankees trade at the deadline a few months back. I said that it was a horrible trade for tweedle du…I mean Pat Gillick. I stand corrected, following the events of the last week or so, the Yankees choke in the ALDS and Cory Lidle's piloting skills, it appears the Phils did get the better end of the deal. The Yankees got stiffed – pun intended - because one guy doesn't have a heart and the other guy's heart is no longer beating.
Tell 'em Dallas Told ya.
Contact Dallas Owens at dowens@phillypurge.com
